Imagination is more important than knowledge - Albert Einstein

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My name is Lizzy, and I'm one crazy girl. I usually go with the flow, but I like to break away from it as well. I have an amazing boyfriend who I will love forever and always. I'm pregnant with my first child at an early age, we'll be waiting till September! I love to draw, and write, and learn new things. I love to laugh, and do crazy things you would never expect. I'm me, and that's all I'll ever be.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Many Profanities!

Call it pregnancy hormones, but I’m pissed off. Maybe I should be and maybe I shouldn’t, but that really doesn’t matter, because I am anyway, so they can get the hell over it. I’m so sick of being the pregnant 17 year old who can’t drive and dropped out of school, and who has to rely on people to take her places when they don’t even seem to want to in the first place, even though I’m supposed to be ‘part of the family’. I can’t even rely on my own mother for support or help. What the hell am I supposed to do when this baby gets here?


I won’t have a thing to worry about then, because I’ll be the seventeen-year-old mother who has a cute little helpless baby by her side. I’ll be the life of the party then, won’t I! I’ll be the person who everyone loves and wants to be around, because I have a baby in my arms. Everyone will be nice to me, so that I’ll let them hold my baby. Who am I mainly talking about here? You guessed it, my boyfriend’s parents.

Right now, I’m not on the top of anyone’s priority list. I don’t even feel like I’m on the top of Avery’s. But as soon as my baby is born, everyone will fawn over me and my baby, everyone will loooove me and my baby, everyone will want to do everything for me and everyone will bow before me because I have a little baby (in terms of Avery’s parents). Because they know that if they’re jerks to me like they are now, that I’ll stay away from them, and you know what that means!!! Yep. My baby will stay away from them too. Because baby will always be with mommy.

How can they treat me like this? I’m carrying their grandchild, they’re son’s son. How can they act like I’m so unimportant? How can they make me feel this way? I feel so hurt and upset, just tossed to the side, overlooked, neglected… With my due date getting closer and closer, I just keep feeling worse and worse, less and less reassured. Sometimes I wish none of this ever happened. Sometimes I feel like it’s the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. But right now, I just feel like I want it all to go away. I can’t take this anymore!

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