For My Future.

Lately life at school has been non-existent, simply because I have been refusing to go. I do plan on graduating high school, I know I need an education to have a future, I don't know why I stopped going. I think it is because I am naturally lazy, as are all humans. My depression and mood instability issues probably don't help this. I've been on so many medications its insane. I cannot blame all of my insufficiency on a few bumps in my road, and yet that is what I have been doing. But now is my chance to start anew at a new school... with new people... I am honestly looking forward to starting over. No matter what it takes I will beat my mind this time. I will succeed. No more excuses, no more procrastination, no more laziness. I am rising out of this depressive hell hole I like to call my imagination. I miss my old one, and I will fight to bring it back.
I am transferring to a new school within a week from now, and I know it will be hard. Especially since my love will not be attending with me. But I know that I need all distractions put aside while I'm at school so that I can succeed. I need to focus on studying and doing my homework and such to get acceptable grades and do well. I plan on going to U of L as soon as I can afford it, and I need all of the help I can get. As much as I like to write, draw, and work with horses, I cannot spend my life being a hobo who does nothing but sit around being lazy all the time. I need to begin focusing on my future. My problem is that I never really think about what might happen later if I don't do this, or what future hirer may think of what is on my record. I live in the clouds! I never exist in reality, I act like everything is a dream that will go in my favor eventually, that I don't have to do anything to get it there. This is not so. Maybe one day I will learn. I am really looking forward to my second chance. But as of now I feel as if I'm in a prison that I put myself in.
I'm looking for new opportunities. To find something, you have to get up and look for it. No one is going to bring it to you. apparently this is what I've been thinking for the past 2 and a half years. I've been through just about everything that should have told me otherwise. I just wouldn't listen. But I swear I will listen now. I have too many things going for me to not be trying. I'm an acceptable artist and horse trainer, for such a young age. I would like to become a better writer. The only way I will get a career in something I am passionate about is to work for it, and do well in school. I guess it is time for me to start.